My partner puts me down My job is low end compared to his (I work in an administrative role). Apr 8, 2023 · A little humor goes a long way in creating a happy, harmonious relationship. Jan 30, 2025 · The dangers when your husband constantly puts you down “My husband puts me down, and I’m deeply hurt. We have two beautiful kids together who, are honestly, the only two reasons I keep going. I was so drained. " Or, "I feel angry when you undermine my intelligence. It can also strain your relationships and can have long-lasting effects on you. He proceeded to argue with me that I can I just choose not to. 5 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Always Put You Down: Relationship experts and psychologists who study relationships have various reasons why your boyfriend always puts you down, but here we will discuss and explore five reasons why he does that. Whether or not he recognizes it, your husband’s goal is to gain dominance over you. Jul 14, 2023 · However, your husband starts putting you down in front of them. I find it really hard to let go of relationships from a really unhealthy relationship with myself. Feb 15, 2020 · Here are 11 abusive behaviors abusers might pretend are romantic but are in reality toxic and manipulative. Anytime I try to grow as a person or advance my career, education, whatever, my wife always discourages me and puts me down. It was EXHAUSTING. I’ve seen this many times. my partner sometimes puts my hopes down and I think unintentionally but damn it really does hurt when I say "I hope this and this happens or is able to happen in the future" even if I'm aware it most likely wont and they are like "Well lemme tell you why that isn't gonna happen and I told you it isn't gonna happen" even when I'm aware and I'm just being hopeful for the future especially if its My partner, not so much, but my brother in law does. Like you, it seems my only reason for existence was to make her happy. We get on very well but whenever we are with my family and friends he becomes snappy, shouts at me and is rude to me. She will say I am too mentally ill to go through with these challenges, and that people don't ever change. He’s [33M] always tries to make me feel bad when I tell him that I don’t want to be with him so I end up staying out of guilt. Recognizing the impact of communication styles, unresolved conflicts, and personal insecurities is vital for fostering a culture of respect and support within a marriage. And let’s explore what’s really going on beneath the surface when you no longer feel like a priority in your husband’s life. My ex would do this to me, not so much argue with people but more so just talk me down in front of others, it turned out he was talking a ton of shit about me behind my back. Could her joking actually be disguising abuse? Apr 5, 2025 · I have been married for 20 years, largely happily and we have two teenage sons. He says I don’t use my brain. If this behavior continues, it might be a good idea to reflect on whether this relationship is meeting your needs for support and care. It was a major betrayal. Apr 2, 2025 · 5 signs that your spouse does not put you first. So it can Yeah, that's exactly what he wants. 4 days ago · Boyfriend put me down repeatedly during a party last night and I haven't been able to sleep. I have repeatedly told him that's not okay with me, and explained to him my boundaries of how I want to be respected in our relationship. Sign up to my blog and get notified whenever I post. Mar 28, 2024 · When your partner puts you down, it’s like being caught in an emotional storm. Oct 27, 2017 · Marriages are made in heaven but unfortunately turned into hell on earth for some couples. He is a very good husband, caring, kind and generous. You think about them too much. So you think you're worthless, your accomplishment doesnt matter, you stop celebrating them, you don't value yourself as a person, you start believing you must be deserving this because clearly he's not the problem (he is) and then you end up not leaving him and working more and more everyday to say and do the RIGHT thing, but guess what, the right thing isn Jan 23, 2024 · If we’re being honest, anyone who puts you down constantly doesn’t mean well to you. Is your partner taking advantage of you—while likely saying you are weak, useless, and uninteresting—because you are reliable, responsible, and resilient? You are most likely not incapable, Does your boyfriend keep putting you down jokingly – and is seemingly unaware that it’s hurting your feelings and making you sad? There is often a thin line between fun, playful teasing, and saying hurtful, insulting comments. She would put me down about absolutely anything and everything. So, I (25f) and my bf (40m) have been seeing each other for somewhere around a year now, and we have exchanged "I love you's" although we seldom do that now. Picture each feeling as a distinct raindrop in that storm — hurt, anger, frustration, maybe even Where to start. We have been dating for a little over a year, but we were friends for three years before that. She also never compliments me on my guitar skills (I'm not too bad haha), rarely ever laughs at my jokes (she says Im not funny). You already have all the resources you need to heal - you can read here about how to connect with them. I am married, 2 children, work and study. My salary pays my bills and I have about $125,000 in savings for retirement. He has a degree and a lot of certifications. My husband is moody, he constantly criticizes me, but the worst thing is he puts me down in front of other people. I can never tell him my feelings or point out that he doesn't follow through on his promises because he gets angry and says I'm abusing him. I have a diploma. You can't expect to be perfect 24/7, so don't panic if you forget to Your post reminded me of the MANY times I have been in situations like this with other couples. Today he offered me something that has gluten in it. S. Your husband ruined another family weekend. And so I was put down constantly. I said no I can't eat that. If they disagree with you in a conversation, they will do so respectfully. My boyfriend puts me down for my quirks and I feel like is trying to change me instead of loving me for who I am. A lot of time, when couples either don't communicate well, or have a lot of negative thoughts about their partner that they repress, it all comes out once you're on a double date or something, almost always in the form of humor. He criticises me so often. When he was hugging me in bed he touched my stomach and said, “I can feel it kicking. Do you worry that your spouse does not put you first in the relationship? These 5 signs will help you to be sure. These comments may seem simple and harmless at first. Why does your husband put you down in front of his family? He is probably feeling insecure and trying to elevate himself in front 110 votes, 39 comments. May 4, 2015 · How can this man, who makes tender love to me, who tells me he’s my prince and I can go to him ANYTIME and talk about my feelings, call me a bitch and tell me “f*** you!” I just don’t get it :( My husband has constantly been putting me down and calling me “useless”, “worthless” “stupid”, “and that I “can’t do anything right” and just always gets mad at me, cusses at me, calls me names, and criticizes me for almost everything I do. A good partner should be rational and mentally stable. Oct 2, 2021 · First time posting here but I am in absolute despair, I have been in a relationship for 8 years and for only one where I thought I was happy. He abused her a lot. Which was a lot. I had to pinch him to get him off and say I'm not going until I hear the truth. Oct 13, 2023 · What does it mean when your husband belittles you? So, what is belittling behavior from your husband? It comes down to a few things said by them that make you feel small, insignificant, or like you are not good enough. He Wants Breakup; Your Relationship Is Incompatible; He Feels Insecure With You; This Is How He Behaves Boyfriend put me down repeatedly during a party last night, and I haven't been able to sleep, don't know what to do, but I won't live like that if this is going to become a new thing. But I won't live like that if this is going to become a new thing. Any partner who puts you down, has an agenda to control you and manipulate you. Hey guys! So me and my husband have been together for 11 years (since I was 14!) and married for 6 years. Yo! I’m a 35 year old dude and subtly found myself doing this to the last girl I dated. Let’s sit with the discomfort. Sometimes it sounds like a joke or a naive remark. Nothing was ever good enough. She calls me cute very very rarely. I thought if I just said the right things, acted the right My (30 year old) boyfriend tends to put me down whenever he's upset. A couple enters marriage with a happiness that not only is a physical but a deep spiritual bond that fulfils the two people bound with vows to love, trust and respect each other. ly/YT2TRIBE Free Self-Love PDF: https://bit. Apr 14, 2023 · I’m Shridhar, a Counselling Psychologist. Googling awesome put downs. Maybe your partner has little to do with the reason why your relationship is exhausting you. My boyfriend (21) , of 2 1/2 years who I (19) also have a 11 month daughter with, has constantly been putting me down and making me feel bad about myself. Jan 25, 2022 · Your partner is supposed to make you feel like you’re on top of the world, but instead, they make you feel like you’re coming down with the flu – tired, lackluster, and aching to crawl up in a ball in bed. When connection becomes performance. But, in reality, these all are methods of how a husband belittles his Have you ever felt like your spouse is always putting you down? Like they’re constantly making you feel inferior or insignificant? This behavior is known as belittling, and it can have serious consequences for your mental health and your relationship. I mean, how can you constantly pull down someone you love? It beats me! Anyway, we will be discussing the topic “Why does my husband constantly put me down?” to help provide answers to you or anyone else in such shoes. Customer: My boyfriend always puts me down in every area. " Avoid saying that your spouse makes you feel a certain way because this phrasing may put your spouse on the defensive. I share with you ways in which you may be hurting your partner with your humor. he says no one will love me as much as he does and that I will “learn my lesson” when I leave. I feel so defeated and it honestly puts me down so much. BIL decided, for the first time ever, to lecture me on some arcane aspect of my niche sector, despite him never having worked in this area. So often, I hear from people who feel belittled and disrespected in these situations, and I want you to know that you're not alone. ” When your husband puts you down, it’s not just the words that hurt you. Nov 2, 2018 · Partner constantly puts me down 20 replies MummyKx · 02/11/2018 00:29 Hi I don’t really know where to start as this has been going on for years & we now have two Ask Angie: What should a wife do when the husband puts her down constantly and is verbally abusive? Guidance: Your husband is having problems within himself. I’m a [23F]. ” Apr 27, 2025 · For example, you might say something like, "I feel sad when you talk to me in that tone of voice. My husband often puts me down in front of my family and friends. He makes several times what I make. I’d gained ten pounds. Dec 24, 2021 · When your partner humiliates you or puts you down by making abusive comments, there are certain ways to cope and respond. I'm not entirely sure how to ask this in a condensed form, but basically his sense of humor is based around putting me down and I hate it- don't understand it- and don't know what Jan 29, 2016 · Toxic relationships can be enormously damaging; either you’ll see it now or somewhere down the line. he says women never know what they want and that humans are B. The longer you stay, the worse the damage will be and the longer it can take to undo. If your boyfriend’s jokes always seem to involve putting you down, that’s a huge problem that needs to be addressed. The only thing is he doesn't see a problem with it and thinks if it's my fault when he's mad he has the right to. Yet in private, and in front of his family and friends, he is lovely. Please print out this Mar 28, 2024 · Photo by Valiant Made on Unsplash. In my early twenties, I believed love was something you earned. Passion in a relationship should Aug 6, 2020 · A put-down from your spouse is like a straight-up punch to the psyche. Today, let's delve into a topic that can be downright hurtful and demoralizing: when your husband puts you down in front of his family. . I changed industry and started working in a niche area of financial services this year. They will also validate your emotions, thoughts, and opinions. See the reason I was googling that was because I have this older sister. 13 Signs Of A Verbally Abusive Husband May 20, 2025 · So let’s slow down. However, he often puts me down and… Aug 15, 2016 · Relationships are supposed to build you up, be super supportive, and make you a better person. Nov 15, 2022 · Why Does Your Partner Put You Down or Devalue You?TRIBE Women-Only Membership Program: https://bit. My self esteem has gone down the drain and I am generally depressed and unhappy. I'm very much in love with my boyfriend of 9 months. Previously, he lectured me on how I was wrong about my old industry. I am pretty good at saving and being able to budget, etc. When I was younger I was put down a lot by my family when I talked and was always told to be quiet. Jul 31, 2020 · My partner keeps putting me down; my partner keeps lying to me; what should I do? When you feel that your partner is lying and emotionally manipulating you, here is what you should do: Confront your partner. My clothes were ugly. These tips can help you evaluate what's going on and find ways to stop the put-downs. Do you wonder in what ways does your partner put you first? By making time for you in their busy schedule. He says the meanest things to me. He insults my intelligence, personality by calling me boring. Dec 23, 2017 · after a little bit longer he grabs me and pins me onto the bed, knee in my side, one hand holding my arms and the other on my shoulder. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. 1. Consequences are a surefire way to both protect your boundaries and demonstrate to your husband that you mean business. In this article, I'll share Why your Partner Feels the Need to Constantly Put you Down. He keeps calling me dumb, stupid, a bitch, a thot, slow, etc. I told him yea I could but there would be consequences. Bad. I would definitely keep your ears and eyes open if he can do this in front of you about you to others imagine what he is willing to say behind My partner is very educated. ly/YT22xOTO So Apr 3, 2021 · The measure of humor-related personality traits, as reported by Torres et al. Oct 27, 2024 · In conclusion, understanding why a spouse puts their partner down in public requires open communication, empathy, and a commitment to addressing underlying issues. She will say that she "knows me" and "knows who I am" so she "knows" I can't do whatever it is I want to accomplish. What does it mean when your boyfriend puts you down jokingly and My boyfriend of a year puts me down and everything I do isn't right, it feels like. But it’s not funny when someone’s being hurt by it. Apr 4, 2023 · But when your husband chronically uses his words to put you down, control, confuse, or manipulate you — and then denies it — he becomes a verbal abuser. Out of shape, depressed etc. Mar 25, 2019 · Q: My boyfriend and I just got back together after six months apart. Let’s dive into a situation that hits close to home for many of us: dealing with those cringe-worthy moments when your husband puts you down in front of his Jan 11, 2014 · In my own time especially after work I like to read books, watch the tv, go on mumsnet, I read the papers a lot and like to debate about things, when it's sunny I like to go for walks or take DS to the park and beach but my partner constantly says I am boring and have no hobbies. Now you know that your partner is lying to you whatever the reason is, you need to talk to them. When they are always working. Like once every few weeks or so. And ever since I was little she was always an asshole to me. But if it is, start by finding time to talk about what’s got you down. Don't know what to do. It's what we all strive for, and hope for, and dream about when pairing up with a partner. May 19, 2023 · If he decides to give your kids a bunch of candy before bed, let him put them down for the evening. So if she’s unhappy it’s because of something I’m not doing. Again he pins me to the bed but this time he has one hand on the side of my face with a lot of force. Sep 27, 2018 · At one point or another, you and your partner are going to let each other down. My husband has put me down from the moment he knew it was possible. “It’s important to let your partner know directly and honestly what’s Feb 26, 2019 · Backhanded comments, digs, and subtle put-downs are a bully’s/narcissist’s covert attempt at making a person feel small while making himself or herself feel big. 2. To watch a video on the first step o Apr 15, 2020 · Disappointment shouldn’t be an ongoing trend. For the most part, he is a great guy. And it's not going to be the end of the world. But your mood suddenly changes, and you feel embarrassed. (2019) uses items in which participants rate themselves on katagelasticism (“I enjoy exposing others and I am happy Aug 6, 2023 · Take a different approach to both relationships, and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. This is bad. Usually people who put down others (judgmental and critical) are unhappy within themselves. So from the other perspective and of course anecdotal. Sure, it might be a mistake — but it may also be emotional abuse. At least I thought that he thougtht that I was hot/beautiful. Meanwhile, he treated her worse and worse. My husband I think is so insecure that he has to put me down to feel better. They frequently direct angry outbursts at you. And put me down, say I looked gross or fat. I am not. He is manifesting his feelings in aggressive verbal language to you because he us unable to manage his emotions properly. My sister’s ex did the same thing, until she became completely reliant on him for validation and stability. I have the worst self esteem now. Such a person is more likely to make you feel safe rather than put you down. Jun 21, 2024 · Evaluating the Relationship: If he dismisses your feelings or continues to put you down despite understanding it bothers you, this may be a red flag for a deeper issue with respect or communication. Ever thru my preteen years and high school adolescence she always found a way to insult me. hocsydw jimxxh gdoa vyocir sbxpujyz mhpjllr ojpbas agry cgqdeh acioy