Why doesn t sex feel good to me But lately I’m having difficulty orgasming—and when I do, it doesn’t feel as good as it used to. If you don’t feel anything at all, good or bad, when you’re touching yourself, then it might be worth getting checked out by a health professional. Before I go into why that is, there’s something else that needs addressing. She just lies there, or she doesn’t seem interested in what you want. The truth: There are many different types of orgasms. Sometimes it will hurt a little and sometimes it won't. Most people would rather not have sex when they’re angry or sad. He wasn’t receptive to trying to learn to turn me on. If you think about that logically, it makes good sense. In these cases, she suggested exploring sex-positive resources May 17, 2025 · Why Am I Not Feeling Anything During Sex? Feeling disconnected during sex can stem from both physical and psychological reasons. If she doesn’t put effort into your lovemaking, it might mean she’s losing her sexual attraction to you. Sep 8, 2016 · Getting in the mood doesn't just hinge on one organ—there are so many emotional and mental factors that can influence how feisty you feel, which makes it easy for your sex drive to fluctuate #sex #menshealth #sexualhealth #ejaculation #sexualdysfunction Sex not feeling like anything as a man can be a frustrating and confusing experience, especially when it comes to building intimate relationships. It doesn’t sound like she’s very open to trying to change. I rarely can bring her to orgasm by hand. In fact, based on the surveys I did for my book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, it looks like most women have rather “ho-hum” sex in their first few years of marriage. Sex isn’t one size fits all. Issues with arousal are extremely common, affecting about 43% of women and 31% I have previously encouraged my audience to have more sex! “Use it or lose it,” I said. Myth 3: All orgasms feel the same and should be an explosive experience. clevelandclinic. Even though he doesn't get the same sensation that I do, we continue to have sex because he says gets off if he sees that I'm feeling good but that makes me feel like I'm using him . As we’ve explained many times at Scarleteen, the vagina all by itself, particularly past the first inch or so, is not Mar 10, 2008 · You’ll probably be surprised to know that this is a pretty common question with an answer that may be unexpected based on what we’ve been taught about how things “should” go. Many people experience challenges with desire, arousal, or connection, and these struggles can impact self-esteem and relationships. Dec 16, 2024 · My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have always had an active and satisfying sex life. But just because we hear less about it doesn’t mean it’s not an issue for plenty of men. Jun 11, 2020 · First, for many women, sex does not feel very good at the beginning of their marriages. Oftentimes, the first thing people try is Jul 31, 2016 · I can spot one big thing that’s making sex unpleasant for you, and it has zero to do with your brain or body being “wrong”. My question is why would an orgasm not feel good? She Nov 1, 2019 · You feel bad, so you promise to have sex later in the day or the next day or later in the week, but when it comes time to making good on your promise, you don’t deliver. This may be true I’d like to start by addressing your use of the word “sex. That’s not when we feel our most generous, flexible, or gentle. There’s nothing wrong with you if vaginal stimulation isn’t your thing. Nov 18, 2014 · When I masturbate or have sex vaginally, I don’t feel anything. You mention someone abused you as a child, and I’m so sorry that was something you went through. Why might sex not feel good to some? All this said, sex doesn’t always feel good. “I see many people in my practice who feel relief just to know they are ‘normal Jan 9, 2017 · We have tried different positions, lubes, tips and tricks online; the next step is trying without a condom, I'm trying to get birth control but it doesn't look good. I had the wrong guy for me. Maybe she says she wants to have sex, but she doesn’t seem super invested in your pleasure. There are a lot of different ways to have sex. I have no answer for that. Jul 23, 2021 · Pleasure makes for good sex. Abuse is awful and scary and all sorts Nov 26, 2024 · If you don’t feel good about your body, it’s normal for your interest in sex to lessen. Mar 12, 2025 · If sex doesn’t feel as fulfilling as it should, you’re not alone. ” Sex can mean anything from masturbation (aka “solo sex”), to manual sex (“fingering”), to oral sex, to anal sex, and of course to what many people mean when they just say “sex” (and what I’m guessing you’re referring to in your question): vaginal intercourse. I love my husband and I’m still attracted to him after all Jan 24, 2023 · She also says that only 10% of women easily climax, and many find they don’t orgasm at all during vaginal sex. From a Mar 19, 2024 · Some people love having their vagina penetrated, and some people don’t get what all the fuss is about. Just to name a few: clitoral, vaginal Why Doesn’t Sex Feel Good? People tend to think that sex is all about penetration. I am able to get in the mood, but when we actually start having intercourse, it does not feel like it used to. If you don't want to have sex or it never feels good, you might have a sexual problem. The first thing you really need to understand when you’re thinking about this is that the vaginal canal itself is not particularly nerve-rich. You don’t feel sexy, you don’t want others to see you naked, and you may not feel deserving of With so many men having "sex" that is actually just them masturbating themselves it also doesn't surprise me that so many women report not orgasming from penetration. For one, the brain gravitates toward things that feel good and away from stimuli that don't. Communication with your partner can also be helpful in figuring out what feels good and what doesn’t. Now, if you DO want to have sex, and just aren’t sure how to have sex that’s pleasurable to you Jan 16, 2013 · If something feels really good when you are masturbating, then it might also feel really good with a partner. If you go straight to penetration, then the whole experience may not be as magical as you imagined it in your head. You don’t feel sexy, you don’t want others to see you naked, and you may not feel deserving of Why doesn't sex feel good for everyone? While there are lots of feel-good chemicals and sensitive nerves associated with sex, not everyone enjoys sex or thinks it feels good. Experiment with different techniques, angles, and speeds to find what works best for you. Not a great start for what’s to come. Is it a good idea to see a doctor or physician about this problem? -The Concerned Teen. I’m losing interest in sex and it’s starting to affect our relationship. Some people truly do just have a low libido. You can’t force her to. The keys to improving sex are self-acceptance and communication. Have you noticed that, more often than not, sex just doesn't feel good for you? While it's normal to experience somewhat unsatisfactory sexual experiences occasionally, it shouldn't be the norm. Vaginal intercourse is often treated like the “gold Queer Sex Ed For All Since 1998 Nov 26, 2024 · If you don’t feel good about your body, it’s normal for your interest in sex to lessen. You say you don’t like sex, and that’s absolutely valid: We don’t have to like it, at any given time or ever. However, this is absolutely not the case. Apr 11, 2025 · She doesn’t make an effort in the bedroom. In most cases, unpleasurable sex can be tied back to an underlying reason or medical condition. She says that her orgasms don’t feel good to her. No one sexual activity is THE satisfying thing – or the most satisfying, or always satisfying, or Jul 18, 2010 · Before I say anything else, I want to make sure that you understand that it’s okay for you to simply not feel like having sex, and to decide to not have it for the time being. And there are many reasons for this feeling. This sucks for partners Jul 18, 2022 · But when foreplay doesn’t feel good, the opposite can happen—you and your partner feel less connected. Apr 16, 2015 · For the past month or so, I have not been able to enjoy sex with my boyfriend. It’s got everything to do with your boyfriend. She can have them as quickly as 3 minutes or take as long as 30 minutes. I went to sex therapy and he didn’t come with me. Jul 1, 2000 · Most women sometimes have sex that doesn't feel good. She needs a toy to hep her. So nature gives this a thumb up Aug 15, 2021 · Key points. Oftentimes, the first thing people try is Nov 2, 2020 · Yesterday we had a heart to heart about why she does not enjoy sex. ” Jul 18, 2022 · But when foreplay doesn’t feel good, the opposite can happen—you and your partner feel less connected. Sex is a process that requires talking, touching, kissing, stroking and intense clitoral stimulation. Dec 17, 2008 · A dildo – or any other sex toy – is not likely to do anything to the nerve endings within your vagina. Jan 4, 2019 · If something doesn't feel right, allow yourself to question that message, whether it is from yourself or someone else," said Coats. Sep 27, 2018 · Ask a Sex Therapist: Why Does Vaginal Sex Feel So Unsatisfying to Me? In this edition of Sexual Resolution , our resident sex therapist Vanessa Marin answers a reader's question about See full list on health. Chronic Relationship Conflict. In fact, it’s completely likely there isn’t a single thing wrong with you, and that nothing whatsoever has happened to your vagina to result in you feeling this way. Sex isn't about what bodies do, it's about how people feel. It doesn't even feel good anymore. When you have sex more, you actually charge your libido! Since then, I have received comments from some of you: “What do you do when it just doesn’t feel good?”Let me offer some encouragement: sex generally ge As a professional sex coach explains, “Everyone’s body is different, and what feels good for one person may not feel good for another. This doesn't mean you have a sexual problem. org Jul 7, 2007 · You know, it’s normal for anyone, of any gender, and with any level (or lack) of sexual experience to feel attraction or a desire to have sex, and then to change your mind, or feel uncomfortable about pursuing sex, at any time, for any number of reasons. The style of penetration that most men have learned to enact simply does not feel good for any woman. Sep 26, 2007 · We hear a lot – for sound reasons – about how intercourse by itself isn’t very satisfying for a majority of cis women. You can use what you learn by yourself to help guide what you do with your boyfriend. These feelings are all totally normal. Queer Sex Ed For All Since 1998 Because you look stupid as heck doing it and if nature didn't make it feel really good you'd never do it. What we hear less about is that it’s also not always satisfying for men. I have become very concerned because the only way I have every been able to climax is during clitoral stimulation. Jan 20, 2025 · Additionally, sex can feel good because there are a lot of “feel-good” hormones and chemicals that are released throughout the body during arousal and orgasm. Our sex life was great, but now I can't have an orgasm anymore. Without sex there'd be no more humans: end of human race. Turns out I didn’t have a low libido. Feb 21, 2017 · The following is far from a complete list of what could contribute to low sexual desire, but it represents five of the most common reasons why women might experience a reduced interest in sex, and Jan 26, 2024 · Struggling with the question, 'Why doesn't sex feel good to me?' This article provides a thorough exploration of factors influencing sexual enjoyment and practical tips to enhance your intimate experiences. You might wonder why you do not feel anything during sex, and understanding these causes may lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience. These include endorphins, oxytocin (released by the hypothalamus), and dopamine. And pleasure doesn’t always come automatically, no matter what you’ve heard or seen in porn or in other media. We all have conditions for good sex. And far too many people think that IS sex, and not an stunted, warped Jun 27, 2017 · 1.